The problem with America is everything is just too far apart
Facing stubbornly high gasoline prices in the run-up to the November midterms, the White House on Wednesday unveiled an ambitious plan to lower diesel costs by as much as 90% by physically relocating every American city and town into a single, densely packed mega-region centred on Kansas City.
The region would cover roughly one-tenth of the country’s land area, while the other nine-tenths would be abandoned and given over to life forms that can get around without using diesel and gas.
"The math is simple," said a senior administration official. "If everything is closer, people drive less. If people drive less, they use less gas. If they buy less gas, prices come down. Or at least they stop going up quite so fast."
Under the radical proposal, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, and thousands of smaller communities—like Toad Spit, Idaho, and Dead Rat, Nebraska—would be carefully lifted, trucked, or floated into a compact zone with greatly improved travel times. For example, the normal 4-to-6 days that it takes to drive from New York to Los Angeles on amphetamines would be cut to around half a day on Lucky Strikes—assuming no one else was using the roads.
The plan is thought to be inspired by studies of European countries, where people can often go to work, go for a swim, visit their mistress, and then cram in a bit of skiing, all before lunchtime.
The plan is thought to be inspired by studies of European countries, where people can often go to work, go for a swim, visit their mistress, and then cram in a bit of skiing, all before lunchtime.
President Trump was quick to extol the benefits of the plan with a bleat on his Truth Social platform:
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