Luckily Trump's brain doesn't need as much oxygen as a normal person's
Concerns were being expressed over the health of President Donald J. Trump yesterday after it was observed that he had turned a bright crimson colour (he is normally bright orange). It is believed that this was due to the President being starved of oxygen for a prolonged period after he chose to insert his head up the rectal passage of Chinese dictator Xi Jinping to serve as a human butt plug.This humble act of fealty occurred during a state visit by the Chinese autocrat and was reportedly undertaken by Trump to show his fan-like devotion for the visiting tyrant and his almost slavish love for any leader who can have his opponents and critics taken out and shot like a dogs in the street.
The prolonged act of cephalic insertion is believed to have taken place in the Oval Orifice shortly after Trump had given Xi and Madame Xi a guided tour of the White House. This also included a visit to the Gallery of the Presidents, where Trump showed Xi a picture of an autopen but not a butt plug, as he was already there in person.
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