AMERICA FINALLY WINS MUCH-COVETED "THIRD WORLD" STATUS WITH TOTAL COLLAPSE OF AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEM

America has finally achieved a goal it has apparently been seeking for decades, namely, admission into the group of totally shitty countries that nobody blames for anything anymore because... why, what's the fucking point?

The former First World nation, which was formerly efficient and well-run for centuries due to the appointment of largely autistic people in key positions like President and dog catcher, started craving Third World status back in the 1970s, when it refused to go metric like Britain and started to elect "reality TV" personalities to important positions.

It finally achieved its goal of full and total "shithole status" with the complete collapse of its air traffic control system yesterday, leading to the grounding of 100% of all flights.

This feat was only achievable through appointing total incompetents at every level of government—something that only became possible with the Second Trump administration—and through a campaign of sustained sabotage of previously First World government organisations like the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) and the Air Traffic Organization (ATO). This was spearheaded by Elon Musk, himself a Third Word immigrant from a shithole country to the USA.

This enabled both the FAA and ATO to be brought into line with the "piss poor" standards and low expectations of other Third World countries like Haiti or Guatemala, where sexual maturity is determined by how many mangoes a prepubescent schoolgirl weighs.

Now thanks to its new Third World status, everybody in the USA can chill out, relax, and stop worrying about stressful stuff like good hygiene, basic morality, and how numbers work. This will greatly enhance the standard of living of its relatively low-IQ population—at least until they starve to death, die of the plague, or eat each other.