An orange mass of goo that has formerly been part of Donald's Trump's face has made a "break for independence" after growing increasingly disenchanted with the number of wrinkles, blemishes, and signs of aging that it has been called upon to cover up and hide in recent months.
The rebellion -- possibly inspired by the 4th of July celebrations that Trump recently attended -- has so far led to the goo "sloughing off" the President's face in large areas, creating a weird "panda" effect, while in other areas the goo has shown its defiance by wrinkling badly and creating a number of air pockets that give the 79-year-old President the appearance of a large, incorrectly coloured toad.
Trump meanwhile has redoubled his efforts to control the goo and crush its rebellion by using an industrial grade metal trowel to affix it to his increasingly dead and greasy visage and ordering his bodyguards to shoot it if it moves too much.
The goo is believed to be attempting to achieve "full autonomy" by falling off Trump's face and congealing in an orange lump on the floor of the White House. Once it achieves this objective, it hopes that it will receive international recognition as a "separate entity" from the President's face and be entitled to its own diplomatic representation.
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