In 2024 Russians will be asked to choose
The finalists for this year's "Miss Russia" beauty pageant have been announced several months ahead of time.
They are Svetlana Putinova, a 22-year-old Novichok technician from Mtinsk and "Sasha" a large carp from the Volga that swallowed too much Polonium.
They are Svetlana Putinova, a 22-year-old Novichok technician from Mtinsk and "Sasha" a large carp from the Volga that swallowed too much Polonium.
According to trusted news source Russia Today, the announcement was made earlier this year in order to avoid a clash with Russia's other main "democratic" event in 2024, namely the Presidential election, which will take place in March. Russia's voters are expected to be offered a stimulating choice between Putin, several Putin doubles, and a giant steaming bucket of sick.
The ballots will then be dumped down a disused mineshaft in Siberia for safekeeping in case of a nuclear war, or in case the bucket wins.
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