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Friday, January 12, 2024

INFERIOR UKRAINE WAR COMMENTATOR DIES FROM SELF-INFLICTED HEALTH ISSUES

80-a-day man, Coach Deadpill

Gonzalo Lira, a commentator on the war in Ukraine, has died at the age of 55. 

Lira (aka "Coach Red Pill") was a Chilean-American who became well-known on the internet for his piss-poor takes on the Ukrainian war, which eventually got him into trouble with the Ukrainian authorities.

The heavy smoker, who was also rumoured to have a fondness for "salami fried in in carburetor oil," died of lung-related illnesses in prison, according to his father who apparently contacted fellow Kremlin shill Tucker Carlson.

In a recent letter Lira claimed to have double pneumonia and edema, a condition whereby the body swells through lack of physical activity. His pneumonia was probably exacerbated by a lifetime of heavy smoking, while edema is caused by sitting or staying in one position for too long.

Both of these conditions are occupational hazards for Kremlin shills, who typically sit in front of a computer all day while chain-smoking to stay stimulated during their tedious work. 

Lira was arrested
on May 1, 2023 in Kharkiv for violating Article 436-2 of Ukraine’s Criminal Code, namely justifying Russian aggression against Ukraine. Lira worked tirelessly (in a static position while smoking copiously) to 
spread pro-Kremlin memes denying Russian war crimes and justifying Russian aggression.

Lira pushed the meme that Russia was "de-Nazifying" the
 Ukraine while also engaging in Nazi-inspired memes

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