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Friday, June 20, 2025

TRUMP ORDERS "BUNKER BUSTER" TO UNLOCK MELANIA'S LADY PARTS

Sleeping on the wrong side of the blanket since 2006

After 20 years of a loveless orange marriage, President Donald J. Trump has now ordered the US Air Force to prepare a "bunker buster" bomb to unlock the "lady parts" of the First Lady, Melania Trump. 
According to rumour, the former Slovenian model has been skimping on her marital duties since the birth of their "autistic" son Barron Trump in 2006. 

The "bunker buster bomb," better known by its technical name GBU-57A/B,
 is a precision-guided, 30,000-pound piece of ordnance that is dropped from a B-2 Spirit stealth bomber from a height of 50,000 feet. It is designed to impact deeply buried and hard-to-reach fortified targets, such as bunkers, tunnels, and uncooperative bits of Slovenian marital minge.

Melania perfecting her ice maiden vibes

Trump's more optimistic military advisors believe it is the ideal weapon to "open up" or "loosen" the dormant lady parts of Melania and get the aging President to finally "plant his flag."

However, sceptics in Trump's cabinet, led by Tulsi Gabbard, who has also not been giving it away for quite some time, claim that Melania's dormant lady parts are so well guarded that even a Massive Ordnance Penetrator like the GBU-57A/B will be powerless to put a bit of zing back into the aging President's love life. 

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