Donald Trump’s plane, Air Force One, was forced to abort its flight to Switzerland on Tuesday and turn back after what officials described as a “misplaced diaper issue.”
Due to his advanced age, obesity, and typical American diet, the President is believed to be a “walking shit tube” who goes through diapers quicker than a maternity unit during an outbreak of dysentery.
Due to his advanced age, obesity, and typical American diet, the President is believed to be a “walking shit tube” who goes through diapers quicker than a maternity unit during an outbreak of dysentery.
The President then boarded another aircraft, an Air Force C-32, a modified Boeing 757 normally used for domestic trips to smaller airports, to continue his trip to the World Economic Forum in Davos.
Karoline Leavitt, the White House press secretary, said the decision to return to Washington DC had been taken shortly after departure “out of an abundance of diarrhoea, both verbal and anal,” once the crew detected the fault and were unable to fly and breathe.
A White House pool reporter travelling with the president said the lights in the press cabin of Air Force One flickered off briefly as the tsunami of brown faecal matter leaking from every orifice of Donald Trump surged in, though no further explanation was provided at the time.
Once back on the ground at Washington, an emergency supply of diapers were rushed to the Presidential flight, allowing the increasingly senile and incontinent leader of the Lunatic Asylum formerly known as America to continue his trip to Switzerland.
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