The USA has officially applied to join the Axis, an unofficial group of evil states that exists in the world from time to time.
The decision became apparent after a recent meeting in Saudi Arabia between US secretary of state Marco Rubio and Sergey Lavrov, the foreign minister of the leading Axis state Russia.
America had a previous opportunity to join the Axis back in 1941 but unfortunately decided not to after a minor misunderstanding with an existing Axis power that resulted in the unimportant deaths of only two-and-a-half thousand Americans.
1941: Missed opportunity
Since then, America has been with the much less cool "Allies," a club of generally likeable but ineffectual liberal democracies, who timidly support the "international rule of law" and not turning their populations into steaming piles of hamburger meat in order to conquer mineral rich lands in neighbouring states.
America's decision to finally defect from the wimpy nice guy club has been confirmed by several statements and press conferences from "badass" US President and now dictator-for-life Donald J Trump.
As a new member of the Axis, America will initially be allowed to sink passenger ships at will and machine gun the survivors in the water, conduct medical experiments on human beings bought on the open market, and rename random bits of geography.
After a trial period and further approval by the "Grand Satanic Council of the Axis," the USA will then be promoted to "full Axis membership," after which it will enjoy all privileges, such as being allowed to nuke kindergartens and hospitals, gas entire sections of society for totally made-up reasons, and getting to redevelop Gaza into condos.
Joining the Axis means never having to open doors by yourself ever again
It appears Putin does't need toilet paper anymore! Daddy Trump will lick him clean everytime he sharts on the West.
ReplyDeleteIs Israel Axis or Ally?
ReplyDeleteAs regards the way it hacks the US political establishment, it clearly has Axis characteristics. More locally, it has, in recent decades, moved in an Axis direction due to toxic levels of insecurity. In terms of goals and ambitions, however, it is not very Axis at all, as its ambition is to be a country about the size of Wales surrounded by friendly Arabs.
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