Exotic Third World totty circa 50,000 years ago
The origin story of early humanity has taken a new twist after researchers concluded that the momentous “out of Africa” migration that led to the colonisation of the other five continents and created new human races was actually carried out by early "incel" homo sapiens in search of Neanderthal minge.
This is directly analogous to modern day "passport bros" who are typically incel men from First World countries who make the drastic decision to relocate to poorer countries where their masculine attributes (like having money) will be more fully appreciated by local females than in their countries of origin.
The results of this research, which was carried out by a number of academics at different institutions studying bits of old bone, suggest that an intrepid band of homo sapiens began moving north from their African homelands a little more than 50,000 years ago and then spent 7,000 years banging hot Neanderthal chicks who may have been interested in their beads, thongs, and carefully chipped bits of stone.
There is also some evidence that Neanderthal men may have been bad listeners who occasionally neglected their womenfolk and failed to provide enough emotional comfort.
The results of this research, which was carried out by a number of academics at different institutions studying bits of old bone, suggest that an intrepid band of homo sapiens began moving north from their African homelands a little more than 50,000 years ago and then spent 7,000 years banging hot Neanderthal chicks who may have been interested in their beads, thongs, and carefully chipped bits of stone.
There is also some evidence that Neanderthal men may have been bad listeners who occasionally neglected their womenfolk and failed to provide enough emotional comfort.
No homo: how one of the early incel "passport bro" Sapiens may have looked
Naturally the only group of homo sapiens who would be motivated to embark on such a dangerous and adventurous odyssey (and listen to the emotional problems of Neanderthal women) would be sexually deprived young males who had been cruelly passed over by hypergamous Homo Sapien females fixated on the local alpha males. This problem would have been greatly exacerbated by the polygamous structure of society at the time.
Studying specimens from the oldest human DNA ever recovered, the researchers concluded that the prehistorical "passport bros" reached Eurasia 50,500 years ago and then successfully interbred with the hot Neanderthal women they found there for around 7,000 years, finally breaking their duck.
Underappreciated by her Neanderthal man
In the process, they created new races of humans and gradually bred the Neanderthals out of existence as new bands of human incels pursued the retreating bands of Neanderthal women into the distant North.
Around 2 per cent of the DNA of modern non-Africans humans is Neanderthal in origin.
The research has been published in the academic journals Science and Nature, which have unfortunately not stressed the blatant and obvious parallels to modern day passport bros.
One of the researchers Professor Priya Moorjani who is ironically a distant product of ancient "passport bro" sex
Covid 19 barely touched me, my brother, or my parents, as I didn't social distance, wear a mask, or get the jab. So I guess I'm part Neanderthal.
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