Dam that ass cus you won't be getting it!
In what appears to be a high-level MI5 plot, the British government has apparently managed to sever the only remaining "pussy pipeline" to exiled Syrian dictator Bashar Al-Assad by persuading his glamourous wife, Asma, to send him to the doghouse.
As reported by LBC:
"Brutal dictator Assad fled to Russia, his backers in the civil war, earlier this month after being toppled by jihadi rebels. But his wife Asma, who was used to a life of luxury in Syria, is said to be dissatisfied with her living standards in Moscow - is said to be seeking a divorce and has applied to a Russian court for permission to leave."
Just a few short weeks ago, Assad could have any woman in Damascus he wanted just by having her husband shot and her kids tortured, but those "Casanova days" are long gone with the Lothario ex-leader now forced to rely on the "old trouble and strife" for a bit or rumble.
But this narrowing of his sexual prospects created a vital "supply bottleneck" that did not go unnoticed by British intelligence whose operatives secretly got in touch with Asma.
But this narrowing of his sexual prospects created a vital "supply bottleneck" that did not go unnoticed by British intelligence whose operatives secretly got in touch with Asma.
In what could have been the plot out of the latest Bond movie, UK spies are thought to have won over the frolicsome former first lady by offering her the luxury of free cancer treatment on the NHS.
Asma apparently caught the deadly disease when she accidently picked up the wrong cup of tea at a Kremlin tea party, one that had been laced with polonium meant for a Putin flunkey who had clearly outlived his usefulness and had to be pushed out of a window later.
Asma apparently caught the deadly disease when she accidently picked up the wrong cup of tea at a Kremlin tea party, one that had been laced with polonium meant for a Putin flunkey who had clearly outlived his usefulness and had to be pushed out of a window later.
But even though she is now riddled with a potentially life-ending condition, the 49-year-old British-born Asma retains her sexy good looks and winning smile and is well able to console her lonely husband with a variety of "sexual techniques" that she picked up while studying computer science and French literature at London's notorious King's College in the "Naughty Nineties."
But now, thanks to MI5, former "dick-tator" Assad will be forced to "Bashar" one out alone on those cold lonely Moscow nights as he enters the endless nuclear winter of inceldom.
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