A "red alert" has been issued after unmarried US Senator Lindsey Graham was found to have breached Disneyland security, and was wandering around unsupervised amidst thousands of unsuspecting children.
The Senator, who routinely votes as if a foreign state has serious ball-breaking kompromat on him, is also suspected of having a girl's name, which, unlike the protagonist in the Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue," clearly failed to "toughen" him up.
In the past, the 70-year-old Senator has unconvincingly claimed that he is still unmarried because "I never found time to meet the right girl, or the right girl was smart enough not to have time for me." However, in 2025, top White House insider and plastic surgery experiment, Laura Loomer, claimed on oath that the Senator was definitely "light in the loafers."
While not officially a "crime" under Disneyland law, an unmarried 70-year-old man being present in the popular theme park for children is viewed with deep disdain and creeping suspicion.
In the photo revealing the "security breach," the Senator appears to be "innocently" pouring a beverage and is not directly endangering any children, although there are several in his proximity.
However, it should be pointed out that the photograph only covers a brief microsecond of the Senator's "illicit" time spent at the "underage ground zero", and that there may be thousands of other photos, held in secret files by foreign governments, who have an unhealthy interest in the Senator's voting patterns on Middle Eastern matters.
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