Boring
An old man with shit policies, mainly designed to line his own pockets, gave an overlong speech to a bunch of bored and dysfunctional politicians.
Known as the "STate oF the Union" (or STFU), the speech is an annual tradition in the country in which it took place, which is believed to have been "founded" by religious lunatics and slave-owners back in the 18th century in one of the more unfashionable continents of the world.
During the speech, which set a new record for yawning and checking one's iPhone, the deeply insecure old man pointlessly boasted about how great he wasn't and how "nasty" all the people who didn't like him and his crap policies were. These mainly include taxing cool stuff from abroad, as the country in question only makes corn syrup and cheese with no flavour.
Looking bright orange under a halo of candy-floss white hair, the old man growled at the bored attendees demanding they respect him and his "tough" military, which has actually failed to win a war on its own since a "civil war" in the 1860s when it successfully managed to beat itself up and create what is now known as the "race problem."
Missing from the speech was any mention of the old man's former best friend, a notorious paedophile, and the millions of files in which they are both mentioned.
Looking bright orange under a halo of candy-floss white hair, the old man growled at the bored attendees demanding they respect him and his "tough" military, which has actually failed to win a war on its own since a "civil war" in the 1860s when it successfully managed to beat itself up and create what is now known as the "race problem."
Missing from the speech was any mention of the old man's former best friend, a notorious paedophile, and the millions of files in which they are both mentioned.
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