In a chilling ritual designed to unlock dark, Satanic forces, Presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis has eaten a baby presented to him by one of his humble followers.
Despite fighting an efficient and well-funded campaign based on robotically telling Christcons and Boomer Republicans exactly what he thinks they want to hear, DeSantis continues to lag in Republican Primary polls against front-runner and Kremlin stooge Donald J Trump.
DeSantis's team, however, believe that an act of human cannibalism inflicted on a helpless infant will help to "humanise" their candidate and make him more appealing to voters (and not just in Florida).
The daring political move is thought to have been inspired by an event that took place in remote antiquity that was later "captured in oils" by one of Spain's greatest artists.
Despite fighting an efficient and well-funded campaign based on robotically telling Christcons and Boomer Republicans exactly what he thinks they want to hear, DeSantis continues to lag in Republican Primary polls against front-runner and Kremlin stooge Donald J Trump.
DeSantis's team, however, believe that an act of human cannibalism inflicted on a helpless infant will help to "humanise" their candidate and make him more appealing to voters (and not just in Florida).
The daring political move is thought to have been inspired by an event that took place in remote antiquity that was later "captured in oils" by one of Spain's greatest artists.
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