Welcome to the present day on-line right! Scurrilous Scottish piss-taker Lazarus reports on "esteemed thought leader" Millennial Woes's new "high-IQ" project to find out if "Jewish wonder drug" Ozempic can fight back against the lovely cheesy taste of Italian pizza three-times-a-day, all paid for by Woes's loyal army of paypigs. The titanic struggle commences. Prepared to be awed by the gargantuan forces unleashed!

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