America's emergency services have been put on "high alert" after fears that the face of top right-wing influencer and Trump ally Laura Loomer has now entered a severe meltdown stage.
The meltdown appears to have been triggered by toxic amounts of plastic surgery, some of which was carried out on a recent "goodwill" trip to Israel, where Loomer apparently spent most of her time having her face pumped full of chemicals and large pieces of kosher beef.
If the vast pulsating cluster of religiously culled meat, silicone, steroids, and gels "goes critical," it is feared that it could create a "plasma jet" that could burn through the Earth's outer crust and trigger a massive "super volcano" eruption that could drown half the continental area of the United States in a sea of lava.
Some geologists, however, claim that there is nothing to worry about, as even a vast lake of molten rock that would instantly kill all life, would be a major improvement on what MAGA America has become under the Presidency of Donald Trump.
Some geologists, however, claim that there is nothing to worry about, as even a vast lake of molten rock that would instantly kill all life, would be a major improvement on what MAGA America has become under the Presidency of Donald Trump.
Laura Loomer before she ruined her pristine beauty with plastic surgery.
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