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Wednesday, July 2, 2025

WOMAN BEING "ON THE RAG" CAUSES POLITICAL CRISIS IN U.K.


A British woman's "monthly emotional turbulence" caused by "having the painters in" has led to an unprecedented political crisis in the UK.

The woman, Rachel Reeves, was surprisingly picked to be Chancellor of the Exchequer in Keir Starmer's Labour government last year, even though it was known at the time that she was prone to enter menstrual cycles and have "moods."

Now her tendency to be overemotional on her "Moon clock" has been played up by Britain's idle mass media to suggest that there is some kind of political crisis going on behind the scenes, connected to politics, economics, and other important stuff.

The Chancellor was recently seen blubbering away like Jordan Peterson on an onion farm, while sitting on the Labour front benches during Prime Minister's Question Time, with footage of the waterworks going viral soon afterwards. 

Jordan Peterson, the World's most famous blubberer

Making the whole crisis worse and fuelling further speculation is the government's reluctance to admit that the Chancellor's mental state was temporally unhinged by the fact the she was simply "riding the cotton pony" and that she would be okay in a few days' time and back at her sums. 

U.S. SENATE PASSES "AMERICA'S SUICIDE NOTE"


After much haggling, horse-trading, strong-arming, and blatant blackmailing, the US Senate finally passed President Trump's "One Big Beautiful Bill Act" -- also known as "America's Suicide Note" for the way it boosts the deficit to even more unmanageable levels. 

A package of tax cuts ($4.5 trillion -- mainly for the rich), spending increases (mainly pork barrel), and spending cuts ($1.2 trillion -- mainly for the poor), the bill is projected to add $3.3–$3.9 trillion to the federal deficit over 10 years, according to estimates from the Congressional Budget Office (CBO). This will take US government debt up to around $40 trillion (or $115,942 per US citizen). 

This enormous rise in debt on top of an already unstable "debt mountain" poses risks of soaring Treasury yields, higher interest rates, capital flight, reduced investment, dollar devaluation, hyper inflation, and massive social strain from cuts to programs as America is transformed into a "slave economy" ruled over by a tiny group of exploitative trillionaires, with all future tax revenue siphoned off to service debt and the forces of repression. 

The bill is also a massive echoing slap in the face to the low-IQ poor people who blindly support Trump and is openly mocking of their limited intelligence and infinite gullibility. 

For example, Medicaid cuts will only come into force once these dumbasses have obediently voted in the midterms for the same GOP representatives who have stitched them up, while the tax cuts on the pittances they make from their lowly service jobs will only last till the next Presidential election, LOL. Meanwhile the tax cuts for billionaires will be locked in for all eternity.

Anyone who cannot see the nemesis of the American Republic in this abysmal piece of legislation has already had his eyes pecked out by the crows of looming destiny.

THE FOREVER WAR THAT WASN'T


Out of all my posts, ROI is easily highest when I just type out a bunch of bullet points until I run out of things and then hit send, so here goes.

(1) A lot of internetoids are obviously very disappointed that America hasn’t been sucked into muh forever war with boots on the ground and regional turmoil and whatnot. Anti-interventionism online is held with a sort of religious fervour according to which any kind of military action abroad simply must spiral out of control and end in disaster. This is doubly true if it’s military action alongside or on behalf of Israel. The absolute worst thing that can happen, according to this view, is that America bombs Iran and then it’s basically fine. In meatspace, though, as explained here, what Trump did was just good policy, and if you don’t like it, it’s probably because you’re a massive f*g.

(2) Contrary to predictions that Trump’s populist agenda will be undermined by entanglements abroad, it’s overwhelmingly likely that Trump’s successes over the next 3 and half years will be mostly in foreign policy. The basic reason for thinking that is because that’s what happened in his first term. The slightly deeper reason is that America’s domestic problems are quite hard to solve, and all the solutions to them involve doing things that are unpopular, which Trump is disinclined to do, and also can’t do because his starting level of support isn’t high enough. On top of that, the policy-production apparatus that the Trump administration has as its disposal is just a big disaster zone of flaming poo. Conversely, if your main strength is thinking outside the box and punching walls to see if they turn out to be made of plasterboard, then there’s a lot more delta in foreign policy. It’s possible that this might go really drastically wrong and everyone on earth dies, but it’s more probable that you just score some easy wins that your predecessors didn’t do because of vague [reasons] that turn out to be fake.

(3) Of all the decisions I’ve made since moving to Israel, probably the best turns out to have been moving to the Golan Heights. I’d like to be able to spin that as the product of farsighted geopolitical insight, and since it’s my blog, I can do what I like, so that’s the official line from now on.

Not the Golan Heights

(4) Israel has done a lot of pretty morally dubious stuff over the past two years, exactly how morally dubious we can make a firm decision about in a few years. But it’s also been doing the region a lot of favours. Lebanon - which I thought would be half rubble by now - has been done a big favour by reducing HizbAllah to a much less powerful local actor. Syria has been done a favour by finally putting an end to more than a decade of civil war and getting the chance to give neoliberal Islamism a crack. All the Sunni states have been done a favour in having Iran’s regional pretensions smashed to bits. Good for them. The country that probably won’t be reaping many of the benefits of this, however, is Israel because it is beholden to (a) kooks (gettit?) who literally think major metaphysical changes will happen to the structure of the universe if they build enough concrete tower blocks in Samaria and (b) dumb baboons who, in as much as their mental state can be translated into comprehensible thought, just think we always have to kill more people whatever the situation because ‘this is the Middle East’. Qatar, the UAE, Saudi Arabia and Bahrain all show it’s perfectly possible to be a well-governed Middle Eastern state that intelligently manages its foreign relations just so long as you totally crush democracy and put all your mentally unstable religious nuts in underground jails, which sucks for us.

(5) On that score, there’s a big part of me that would like to do a compilation of the delirious euphoria that has been flying around Right Wing Israeli WhatsApp over the past week. I think it’s kind of cheap and maybe in a sense a bit of a betrayal, but I also think someone should do it because in five years time when it turns out that Israel is still just a small country in a tough neighbourhood, with inherent strategic limitations and heavily dependent on a foreign power - plus the big fat anvil of Gaza that we hung round our necks no less heavy than it was before - people will point blank deny they ever said or believed all these crazy things.

(6) Trump is not the hero we deserve, but he’s the hero we need. Technically speaking, he’s being kind of a knob because it’s actually pretty normal for a country, especially round here, to try and hit a list of remaining targets before the ceasefire deadline, but it doesn’t really matter what he’s telling us off for, it just matters that he did it, and in a way only he could. People here need to hear this. I think my readers abroad perhaps can’t quite appreciate how much they need to hear this, but they really need to hear this.

You’re not special, stop being psychos

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