SMALL ELDER-ATTRACTED FRENCHMAN THROWS HISSY FIT AFTER ELECTION SETBACK

Macron: hissy fit

French President and professional "shortarse," Emmanuel Macron, who is apparently named after a series of soft-porn movies from the 1970s, has thrown a hissy fit after disappointing election results in the largely unimportant EU elections. 

The vote, which took place from the 6th to the 9th of June across Europe, saw so-called "far right" parties, like France's National Rally doing well due to continuing problems with assimilating ever-larger numbers of Third World immigrants into European society. But Macron, who is only a pathetic 5' 7" and wears funny Herman Munster shoes to make him look bigger, took the defeat personally.

His fake, astroturfed Renaissance party, which didn't even exist a few years ago, won less than half the votes of National Rally (15.2% to 31.5%), leading to an emotional Macron jumping up on television to declare, "I cannot act as if nothing had happened," and threatening to throw even more of his toys from the pram (pushed by his wife) if his party also loses the parliamentary election on the 30th June and 7th July.

Previous French Presidents, like Jacques Chirac (6' 2"), Valéry Giscard d’Estaing (6' 2"),  Georges Pompidou (5' 11"), and Charles de Gaulle (6' 5"), have all towered over the diminutive child-like Macron. In fact, Macron is so short, it's a miracle he is not in the Alt-Right, like fellow short arses Weev, Andrew Anglin, Nick Fuentes, JF Gariepy, Neema Parvini, Mark Collett, Nathan Damigo, Sargon of Akkad, Chuck Johnson, and Gonzalo Lira (aka Coach Dead Pill).