FAT "GAY" WHINGERS SOUTH OF RICHMOND

"Rich Men North of Richmond" singer Oliver Anthony

by Colin Liddell

Most of the crap that briefly bobs to the surface of the human sewer that is "the internet n' social media" is best ignored, so when a song by a flabby-looking kid with a fuzzy red beard about how "oppressed" Murcans were by "paedophiles" started going viral, I went for the mute button.

Now, as the meme cools into a cold puddle of dry sick, it is worth perhaps at least a cursory glance to see what we can learn from its errant popularity about the state of the American nation. 

The song, which is done in a cringe-worthy "earnest" country style, purports to be a passionate "democratic" cri de cœur about how set upon "poor wittle Murcans" are: 

"I've been sellin' my soul, workin' all day

Overtime hours for bullshit pay

So I can sit out here and waste my life away

Drag back home and drown my troubles away"

Yeh, it sucks having to work for a living doesn't it? Have another Bud-Lite, bro.

But thanks to the American Empire, the petro-dollar, fiat currency, stimulus spending, and a massive trade imbalance, Murcans aren't really doing too badly. In fact, they have rather inflated wages ($77,463 on average) compared to the rest of the World, and all for the little they actually produce.  

"Livin' in the new world

With an old soul

These rich men north of Richmond

Lord knows they all just wanna have total control

Wanna know what you think, wanna know what you do...

Yes, poor whittle Murcans! Their elites actually want to know what they think. Isn't that essence of a democracy? LOL

Then we get the lazy lie about the "poors" (average wage $77,463) being taxed till their eyes bleed by evil rich guys:

...And they don't think you know, but I know that you do

'Cause your dollar ain't shit and it's taxed to no end

'Cause of rich men north of Richmond"

Actually, no. As usual, it's the rich, productive people who pay most of the tax:

For instance, the top slice includes the nation's roughly 900,000 households that earn $1 million or more a year. As a group, they are projected to pay $772 billion in federal income taxes for 2022, or 39% of all federal income taxes, according to a projection from the Joint Committee on Taxation.

By comparison, there are 29 million U.S. households with annual income between $50,000 to $75,000. That group is expected to provide the federal government with about $44 billion in taxes, or 2.2% of the total pie, the analysis found.

Also, much of that tax money is pumped into government spending that creates tens of millions of rather well-paid jobs, most of which are not strictly necessary, for ordinary Americans. 

What else has this crappy critique got?

I wish politicians would look out for miners

And not just minors on an island somewhere

Lord, we got folks in the street, ain't got nothin' to eat

And the obese milkin' welfare

Yes, Pizzagate being rehashed (paging Mr Nowicki!).

Actually, the research shows that most paedoing is done by poor losers, who, coincidentally seem to be the exact same people who have an inordinate desire to blame the rich, successful for it:

Child sexual abusers are often characterized as exhibiting poor social skills, having feelings of inadequacy or loneliness, having greater sexual problems or being passive in relationships (Cortoni & Marshall, 2001; Groth, 1979; Maniglio, 2012; Marshall, 1993; Whitaker et al., 2008). They differ from rapists with respect to thought processes and affect, and often describe their offending behaviors as uncontrollable, stable and internal; whereas rapists attribute their offenses to external, unstable and controllable causes (Garlick, Marshall & Thorton, 1996). 

Now onto the fudge rounds, whatever they are:

"Well, God, if you're 5-foot-3 and you're 300 pounds

Taxes ought not to pay for your bags of fudge rounds

Young men are puttin' themselves six feet in the ground

'Cause all this damn country does is keep on kickin' them down"

Nothing to say here, except look at a picture of this pudgy, slovenly, saggy-arsed motherfucker, who's still in his 20s:

No doubt he uses his guitar to hide his moobs and his neckbeard to conceal his double chin.

The rest of the song just repeats, so there you have it!

But what does this concoction of cringe tell us about overprivileged pampered Murcans? Just that all that privilege and pampering has made a great many of them into weak, little runts who have started to explain away their inability to work hard and resist donuts by mainlining on some sort of nebulous "victimization" narrative that can only exist in the unexamined lyrics of a crappy country song.

PS: I'm not saying America can't be critiqued, but this is definitely not the way to do it.

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Colin Liddell is the Chief Editor of Neokrat and the author of Interviews & Obituaries, a collection of encounters with the dead and the famous. Support his work by buying it here (USA), here (UK), and here (Australia).