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Wednesday, April 26, 2023

TORIES ANNOUNCE "PIPELINE OF POLICE" IN DESPERATE BID TO OVERTURN MASSIVE LABOUR LEAD


Britain's Tory government has announced that it will be building a "massive pipeline" to supply a "limitless future supply" of police officers that will then be sprayed all over the country of Britain using a system of nozzles.

The move comes after opinion polls showed Rishi Sunak's beleaguered Tory government was continuing to trail against the "sexy, dynamic" campaign being waged by Labour's Sir Keir Starmer. 

Tory Home Secretary Suella Braverman said that the plan will also mean "far more" ethnic, female, and transgender policemen" than ever before, and mean that the first person you see after going out your door in the morning won't be a milkman. 

This decision is thought to be extremely popular with all the people who voted for Brexit in 2016 and 2019, who now have nothing to vote for. It is also a lot easier to implement than stopping the "massive pipeline" of rubber boats that is pouring a "limitless supply" of migrants into the country (although the two pipelines and their respective functions are, of course, entirely unrelated). 

Thanks to the Home Secretary's plan each British street will have this many policemen.

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