USELESS HUMANS TO BE REPLACED BY HARD-WORKING, EFFICIENT PIGEONS

A pigeon deciding whether to save your life or not

The days of humans on this planet may be numbered. Not only are there an increasing number of bots, robots, algorithms, and AIs that can replicate the simple tasks these emotional "meat monkeys" perform, but even other animals, including members of their own lowly mammal group, like guide dogs and crypto apes, are increasingly replacing them in the workspace. 

In the latest blow to these feeble upright apes, it has been revealed that pigeons are now ready to replace error-prone humans as pathologists and radiologists. Yes, hard-working pigeons with the iron-discipline that being a pigeon involves, have similar but superior vision systems to humans and much better concentration, making them ideal as observers of medical imagery.

A recent medical paper on this (2015) explained the superiority of pigeons over worthless humans, who anyway spend most of their time checking their phones, masturbating, or fishing for "likes" on social media:

"The birds proved to have a remarkable ability to distinguish benign from malignant human breast histopathology after training with differential food reinforcement; even more importantly, the pigeons were able to generalize what they had learned when confronted with novel image sets. The birds’ histological accuracy, like that of humans, was modestly affected by the presence or absence of color as well as by degrees of image compression, but these impacts could be ameliorated with further training."

Yes, unlike humans, who constantly break down under pressure and blub, or become hysterical, requiring high-speed slapping therapy, pigeons can be trained and then trained again with small amounts of grains and seeds.

Humans, by contrast, need to be sent on "sex-pat" holidays, receive medals and certificates, and be given tedious group hugs, and "pep" talks to get the best out of their worthless carcasses.

The economics don't lie and are clearly in favour of the pigeons, which are also known to make a pleasant "cooing" sound on their downtime, unlike filthy humans who are constantly belching, farting, and attempting karaoke, even when they aren't arguing about the colour of shit or whether Andrew Tate is a pimp.

For pigeons Andrew Tate's bald shiny head is just something else

to shit on before flying back to the lab to detect more cancers.

Only the worst kind of Ludditism can prevent pigeons taking their destined place at the apex of the medical profession.