A German team, weakened by too much moral signalling, has crashed to a humiliating defeat in its opening World Cup game to Japan.
The German team, which desperately wanted to make amends for "The Holocaust," transporting Vladimir Lenin back to Russia in a sealed train in 1917, and buying Putin's gas for the last 20 years, tried real hard to score moral "brownie points" before the game by attempting to wear colourful LGBTQ+ armbands.
When they were not allowed to do this by the harsh Qatari authorities, the team then had an exhausting and tearful nine-hour "struggle session," during which they debated, screamed, denounced, and then hugged each other, before "unanimously" deciding on another piece of pointless moral signalling on behalf of the "international LGBTQ+ community."
This involved posing for pre-match photos with their hands held over their mouth to symbolise "being gagged" by the authorities -- even though they were not planning to wear the armbands on their mouths.
Needless to say, these intensely moral actions left the team emotionally drained and mentally distracted by the time kick-off arrived.
During the match, the German players shuffled listlessly around the pitch while their energetic Japanese opponents, who had prepared for the match by reading politically incorrect manga, pulsed with "kamikaze" energy and "samurai" spirit, running rings around the lumbering Germans and scoring two fantastic goals.
The German team, which desperately wanted to make amends for "The Holocaust," transporting Vladimir Lenin back to Russia in a sealed train in 1917, and buying Putin's gas for the last 20 years, tried real hard to score moral "brownie points" before the game by attempting to wear colourful LGBTQ+ armbands.
When they were not allowed to do this by the harsh Qatari authorities, the team then had an exhausting and tearful nine-hour "struggle session," during which they debated, screamed, denounced, and then hugged each other, before "unanimously" deciding on another piece of pointless moral signalling on behalf of the "international LGBTQ+ community."
This involved posing for pre-match photos with their hands held over their mouth to symbolise "being gagged" by the authorities -- even though they were not planning to wear the armbands on their mouths.
Needless to say, these intensely moral actions left the team emotionally drained and mentally distracted by the time kick-off arrived.
During the match, the German players shuffled listlessly around the pitch while their energetic Japanese opponents, who had prepared for the match by reading politically incorrect manga, pulsed with "kamikaze" energy and "samurai" spirit, running rings around the lumbering Germans and scoring two fantastic goals.
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